Hey you guys, I am so sorry I been missing from the scene. Real Life had me where Second Life was on the back burner for a little bit. In my off time I got a chance to meditate and really come to some conclusions about my life. Went on job interviews etc. When seeking change, there is always a battle happening just under the surface. Just before your dreams manifest is the greatest trial you will ever endure. Looking back over my life, I realize I have survived the worst of the worst. But you have to enjoy life, enjoy the pain, it let's you know you are alive. Even when the good times start rolling, you will want to soak up soo much of the good, you will cherish those GREAT moments, but YOU ARE NEVER DONE.


While I was gone I took some time to heal as well. Heal from the disappointments Second Life has brought my way and sometimes those are almost as bad as my Real Life disappointments. The vulnerability I felt, lasted for a long time, and it still lingers. Wanting to just put on my big girl panties and get over it, but then I miss out on the growth that is needed for me to keep going towards success.

Also in my off time, I realized how soo many people are filled with the spirit of iniquity. Their false egos a reflection of their accomplishments. I took some time to humble myself. Some who read this may be religious or not, but for me I know a false ego can block your blessings. It throws off an air of, "I don't need your help, or your presence." That kind of disposition blocks blessings as well. You can have a healthy self-esteem without being egotistical about your situation, life, finances etc.

So I am back, not sure for how long, but isn't that the joy of life? I will post a new location soon, so stay tuned. I've found some pretty great places. Love and Light my friends💬.

Growing up with a white and native mother and a black father has left me in the middle of a dialogue I want to see from both sides, but I am forced to go with what they "see". My skin. My mother use to get strange looks while I was growing up. Snotty looks, as white women and men stared at her black child and looked down at her. My experiences growing up here in Los Angeles has been a total and utter nightmare. The gang war that broke out here in the early 90's led to my brother's death. Shot 25 times. I was only 5 years old, but I remember my mother kissing his forehead, her red lipstick leaving the last bit of love she had in this world in that coffin, with him. From that point on, she spiraled, she lost herself and in the process I lost my childhood.
He was 23. 12 years later, I lost my mother. I know the pain of losing your family. It never goes away.

The end result of a murder, justified in the eyes of the law or not, sends ripples of pain that continues to torture the person(s) left behind. Depression rears its ugly head and eventually suicide becomes an option. The lack of mental health awareness and help in America for trauma victims would suggest we live in a third world country.

The division we are experiencing in our society right now gives us racially charged hashtags like, #AllLivesDidntMatter, #CrimingWhileWhite, #WhitePrivilegeMeans, and #WhiteInventions. Social Media has become the breeding ground for racist bickering and threats. There are extreme points of view from both sides, but what bothers me the most is those who want to bring up statistics of black on black crime. The conditions upon which poverty stricken blacks live in create the climate for these crimes.

The fact that they say these directions, "came from the top" speaks volumes.

Money plays a big role in how the police do their jobs. This video (will open in new window) gives astounding proof as to why we are in prisons across America. There are quotas these cops must meet and the punishment for not meeting them are devastating. The fact that they say these directions, "came from the top" speaks volumes. This article(will open in new window) further shows how the system is rigged to imprison ALL of us. Judges received kickbacks on handing out long sentences to our youth. To further top it off, prisons are privatized, not government owned, however they are government backed. Meaning they receive money to stay running. This article(will open in new window) further drives the point home that we must end For-Profit Prisons.

With all this evidence stacked against our government, We Charge Genocide(will open in new window)brought these issues plaguing our society to the United Nations, in an effort to charge the United States government with genocide. Information is available to us on this worldwide web, we have to begin using it for more than Likes and Retweets.

Second Life mimics Real Life and already I have been attacked in groups I thought were for the intelligent people.

In conclusion, I fear for our future. I find it difficult to feel safe driving, going to the store, walking my dogs or even standing on my street. Not that I have a criminal record or anything, just the tension in the air. It's palpable. I am getting phone calls from my family telling me that they are getting strange looks on the trains and buses on their way to work. White passengers are shaking scared and blacks are just as scared if not more. Second Life mimics Real Life and already I have been attacked in groups I thought were for the intelligent people. I no longer feel comfortable going out and exploring in fear of being ridiculed or targeted by others who, before this, never would have given a second thought about me teleporting into a sim.

The mean jokes and automatic responses to others has to stop.

Now, every comment I make on any platform, Flickr, Second Life, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram is being attacked, no matter the subject. The stress I feel from not being able to express myself openly about anything is painful on so many levels. We are all human, and anyone human, White, Black, Latino, or Asian should be equally outraged at what is happening to our society. I ask that we all show compassion to one another. The mean jokes and automatic responses to others has to stop. We have to be leaders, not followers of out of date ideas that no longer work in this melting pot we call America.

So for quite sometime I have been making animations for myself. I have always been one of those people who have to be different and stand out. In the process of talking to my guy I came up with an idea. How about changing the club scene by making animations specifically catering to that? So while I was messing around with some software a few months back, I sort of mastered animating in about 4 hours. Sheer determination was all it took. I wanted to hold a drink in the club and dance at the same time sooo bad, I succeeded.

So today I present to you one of many animations to come. The "Unisex Wall Lean" animation. You can prop that foot on the fall, hold your drink and look around at the crowded club, but also look cool doing it. I will eventually come out with different variations of this pose. The pose is copy/modify, no transfer. All I ask is that it is not resold or given away. Otherwise, do what you want. As my inventory of poses grow, I will get a vendor for you to try them out before purchase. Below is a picture of me using it at a location I covered in this blog a while back.

You can add this pose to your viewer's AO and play it whenever you feel like it. I love it and will be using every chance I get. Be creative with this pose. Post up and chat with that girl you been digging, use it for anything and everything. Post up on that patio and enjoy a nice sunset, or in an alley as you shoot craps with the homies. Turn of your AO and play this.. and you can post up anywhere.

Enjoy.
Soon as I learn how to take video in SL. I'll upload to Youtube.

To purchase: Digital Exploration Marketplace 

I am an advocate of observation. While some may think observing one's patterns is difficult in Second Life, it is exactly the opposite. There are soo many tools you can use to your advantage when navigating the "waters" of Second Life. This platform we flock to on the daily gives us very little protection from the individual with malicious intentions. One of the signs of malicious intent is downplaying their actions. We have to realize that what they do in Second Life is a clear indication of their Real Life morals. Would you associate yourself with a liar, thief or negative person in Real Life? Then why would you allow them into your Second Life?

 "You can easily spot those without morals, all it takes is a little understanding of human psychology."

With a lack of moral police in Second Life, we have to be our own moral police. It is safe to say that those you have had a negative experience with in Second Life congregate with those of the same moral standards. You can easily spot those without morals, all it takes is a little understanding of human psychology. The profile is "the" first impression of the individual and exposes what that person values in Second Life. I have seen a few who "rep" their families and lovers in their profile but they never seem to take into account the kind of "reputation" that individual has. Their behavior towards others in Second Life can easily create a snowball of animosity that they do not see coming.

"Be extra weary of the female who has their sister's husband (brother-in-law) in her profile."

If you find yourself fighting their battles, then you can see how what they do has a direct effect on you. Be weary of those looking to include you in ALL their endeavors and relationships. Be extra weary of the female who has their sister's husband (brother-in-law) in her profile. Anyone who seeks to "Rep" someone else's relationship are way to "emotionally" involved in a relationship that has shit to do with them. I can say with some degree of certainty that female is either jealous, envious and just may be fucking her sister's husband. That profile "shout-out" is nothing more than a tactical ruse to pull the wool over her "sister's" eyes.

"It is inevitable that you will get "close" to people here and setting boundaries is the only way to insure your continued happiness in Second Life."

This grid has tons females and males with ulterior motives. It is up to you to be vigilant in bobbing and weaving your way out of situations that can turn your oasis from Real Life into a complete nightmare of stress and public fights. It is inevitable that you will get "close" to people here and setting boundaries is the only way to insure your continued happiness in Second Life.
I have a belief that has been proven to me in Real Life more than once. The belief is that any woman who introduces me to a man she thinks I would "like" has ulterior motives. That woman was either rejected by that man and in an effort to stay "close" to him, she decided I would be a great proxy for that. Or they have already had sexual relations of some kind and she thinks I will accept her sloppy seconds.

"You cannot control all the moving parts when dealing with others. All you can do is control yourself and who you allow into your Second Life."

So many people in Second Life are in denial of another's intentions and then want to publicly embarrass someone because they failed to get a demo. The Demo is that profile, the demo is the group they hang out with, the demo is that first conversation where they try to "tell" you they ain't bout that drama instead of showing you. Anyone who has to "Tell" you something instead of showing it are most likely lying through their keys. You cannot control all the moving parts when dealing with others. All you can do is control yourself and who you allow into your Second Life. (this applies to Real Life as well!) If you hold yourself in high regard, there will always be people who will want to tarnish that. There are people who will literally seek you out in an effort to make you a public spectacle so they can tout reasons on why everyone should not deal with you.

Demo Dem' for your happiness and satisfaction.

There is a play happening just under the surface in Second Life and there are people who want you to come out of character. This is the fastest and most effective way to get yourself grouped with the lowlifes and ratchets and this is the bait you must avoid. Demo Dem' for your happiness and satisfaction. Because there is absolutely no one for you to complain to if they don't fit your program for a happy Second Life.



Happy Demos Folks!

I know I been gone for a lil' bit, but I am back ya'll! So let's jump into this topic and get soaking wet in it! (I'm feeling freaky right now so yea)    So, the Black Side (yes there is a blackside in Second Life) has watered-down the chat box into a gesture box. So many women utilize gestures as a form of communication when there is literally millions of combinations of words at their disposal. What brought this subject into such great importance was a situation that went down at a strip club "Grand Opening" that was just a big no-no. A woman on a stripper pole decided to beg for tips. I decided it was time for me to show them how it was really done. Turned on my sexy and I got on that pole and did a few emotes, but all that quickly came to a halt when my first tip of 200 lindens resulted in me only getting 100 lindens. (yes, they took half) I never decided to do it for the money, I did it as an example but I ain't no damn slave either.

Seduction is an art form like no other. It lends you the possibilities to seduce any man if you understand the psychological impact of written/typed words.

There are numerous arrangements of words that can entice and seduce a man or woman. Since I am heterosexual with lesbian behavior in my past, I will focus on seducing the male. Seduction is an art form like no other. It lends you the possibilities to seduce any man if you understand the psychological impact of written/typed words. I ain't gonna toot my own horn, but I have successfully aroused men with just text. If they were not aroused, they were definitely interested enough to beg me not to stop. It can be done, but it takes creativity and passion for descriptive writing.

With words, you can create chemistry where you may think there is none.

I do not come into Second Life, (an overpriced chat room) to just look good. My passion has always been writing and that will never change. With words, you can create chemistry where you may think there is none. Voice chatting may crossover into "Real Life" too much for some people which leaves you with only the chatbox to work with. We all come to Second Life with a goal of some kind, even if it is only to enjoy being in Second Life, then that is a goal.

She will give off subtle, sexy, energy with every word, leaving each word dripping with sexiness. 

Any woman who is mature and confident in Real Life can control the chatbox at her discretion. She will give off subtle, sexy, energy with every word, leaving each word dripping with sexiness. Tonality(the undertone of one's words) may be hard to to read, but with a graceful disposition a woman's words can never be misconstrued. The art of emoting is supposed to entice, intrigue, arouse, and straddle the mind of the man you are roleplaying with or just interested in. Mastering the art of emoting is invaluable to the single woman in Second Life. Once you get that partner you desire, keep your relationship fresh by checking out romantic novels and pay close attention to how the scenes play out, but also to the sexiest word arrangements. What turns you on may turn on your partner, best way to find out is to at least try to be spontaneous in Second Life with the roleplay.


Flourish in the Art of Emoting
Enjoy!

The finest man in Second Life can offer me to dance with him and I will always decline. You must think I am insane, crazy, stupid, a bore etc, but here is why I am not:
There is no such thing as "Innocent Dancing" in public within Second Life, those little poseballs can literally launch you into total stardom, or turn you into a Second Life household name with a deep, nasty connotation added on to it.  If you have not seen "He Wasn't Man Enough" by Toni Braxton, then let me demonstrate this as best I can with words, (you can watch the video here). In no way is just dancing with someone leaping into "marriage" but it will definitely have a silent effect on your reputation as a single woman in Second Life. (this also applies to men as well, but we will get to that.)

"Whether their "hookup" was public or not, her friends know about him, and his homies know about her." 

If the male avatar is older than one month, there is a 99% chance that he has dealt with a female in some kind of romantic way in Second Life. Even if it is just vanilla sex, roleplay, etc, he will forever have some ties to that woman. Whether their "hookup" was public or not, her friends know about him, and his homies know about her.

"Everyone in the club is watching. The whispers begin. "

Now that we have established that, here is where you (the innocent, single woman) comes into play. You are standing in a packed club. People from all over the grid are there and this fine man asks you to dance.  You accept. The moment you click that poseball, (you know that weird dance happens first where you are standing away from each other) he chooses the most romantic dance, in the middle of a packed club. He's hugging you and saying all the right things in your IM. Everyone in the club is watching. The whispers begin. The silent questions from homegirls and homeboys light up that one girl's box who was just raving about this man the other day. ("Wasn't you talkin' about how great he was?")

"You've walked into a trap that you will never get out of.
 Make it innocent in your mind all you want. "

SL god forbid that girl is the club owner, a clothing designer, or has some kind of sim control to a popular location, (you are fucked). If this man was on that woman's plate in any kind of way (he might have just been an appetizer, or even the main course) You have just made an enemy. If this woman is an ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, ex-fling. she will try to twist the narrative of their separation to make you look "thirsty" because she could not "bag" him and get  or keep that partner box occupied. You've walked into a trap that you will never get out of. Make it innocent in your mind all you want. You've taken the bait.

"You've just become a display and reassertion of his manhood/sexiness/power and now she is jealous of you."

If he left her, he has just used you to add Insult to Injury to a still open and raw wound. You've become a display and reassertion of his manhood and now she is jealous of you. She will do everything in her power to dumb down your Second Life reputation to that of a hoe, a sleazy, man-stealing bitch. She may even go to great lengths to get him back into her life and bothering you may just be the easiest route. She will assume that you knew about their "relationship" and accepting this dance in front of her is a stab at her "womanhood". The worst part is if this woman is on your list and you had no idea this was some dude she had "dealings" with. Therefore this can create an enemy in your circle, which is REALLY dangerous. (you see I underlined that, I never underline, so I'm not joking)



As for men, if a guy who banged that chick is in the room when she accepts that dance. He might begin the next conversation he has with her in the realm of slut, whore, etc. If his homies know yo' homies, it's over for her if she does find a good man who hasn't already "heard" about her. Face it, in Real Life men gossip more than women, and in Second Life, I am sure it is way more rampant.

"What confirmed my suspicions of foul play was, "oh none of them are here right now."

In conclusion, Public Dancing is never Innocent. Just tonight a guy asked me for a dance and I declined, he tried to make it seen harmless, and I explained to him why(which is what sparked me to write this post).  What confirmed my suspicions of foul play was, "oh none of them are here right now." I could not believe my eyes. If a man feels comfortable enough to ask you for a dance in a packed club, know that he frequents that location and know it is not far-fetched for some love torn female to be stalkin' the place, watching his every move. Hey, if you wanna Kim Kardashian your way through Second Life, then by all means do that. But, when the drama comes lighting up your IM, you cannot say you was not warned. There is absolutely no way you can know of all the moving parts and the people involved with that person you are "innocently dancing" with. There are people here looking for a fight, looking to make your Second Life miserable. Be vigilant in protecting your peace and joy.


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Leave Comments and Question In-World

How people conduct their Second Life does not concern me. What concerns me is when they expect me to conduct mine the way they do. Often complaining about my reluctance to be a "secret". In a virtual world void of morals, you can see why those of us who choose to be moral are few and far in between.

"Gaining their trust fairly quickly and getting their Real Life Facebook information."

I remember an incident where a guy, who was some what interested in me, decided it was "cool" to play a disgustingly racist song over his mic. Laughing all the while. He even went on in detail at how he would troll morbidly obese women who had given him their picture in Second Life. I sat and listened in total disgust while he went on in even more detail about how he would pretend to be interested in these women. Gaining their trust fairly quickly and getting their Real Life Facebook information. Soon after achieving his agenda, he would begin the process of beating down their self-esteem. I was beyond disgusted.

"If you can hold your composure under the pressure of raining compliments, you will see their true self emerge before your eyes."

It is those kind of people you must watch out for. Men and women alike. Anyone who is not genuine will deliver red flags to you on their own. If you can hold your composure under the pressure of raining compliments, you will see their true self emerge before your eyes. Women who do not give into male advances know from experience that this works in their favor. They find out the true essence of a man who is denied the pussy. This is not a one way street. This applies to women seeking out men as well.

"She believes that if she can somehow squeeze her way into his awareness enough, he will leave his partner."

There is a great ratio divide between the amount of men and women and the partnered male inevitably has a target on his back. In a world void of conscience, females (I'm talkin' bout Ratchets) see the partnered male as a challenge. She believes that if she can somehow squeeze her way into his awareness enough he will leave his partner. In all essence, she is looking for a way to validate her pussy. Honey... I am here to tell you, if  it has not happened in Real Life, it will most definitely not happen here in Second Life.

"...what you are in Real Life will present itself in Second Life at the most inopportune times."

This is the great line in the sand between real validated (self-validated or male validated) women and the Ratchets who can only find validation through seeking to 1-UP their female counterparts or even companions (damn that was heavy)! As an already Real Life validated woman exploring Second Life, I only surround myself with upstanding women. In case you did not know, what you are in Real Life will present itself in Second Life at the most inopportune times. No matter which avatar you choose to be, what you are (morals,beliefs,values,tonality) in Real Life will seep its way into your Second Life. Even the syntax of your sentences and writing habits are hard-wired. The effort to be someone else requires alot of work, which has very little return given the effort. You would have to create some form of selective amnesia to become someone else.



Red Flags of the morally void Ratchets include incessant need to change their clothes in a packed club (you just do not do that!). Flipping your Addams hud repeatedly in an effort to create a rainbow effect (like for real?). Privately voicing your desire for a man who is partnered (biggest red flag yet).
There are more, but I think you get the jist of it...


Check out my Flickr!

You will undoubtedly meet all kinds of people in Second Life, from sim owners to scripters. But not everyone has the best intentions when logging in. During my search for engaging chat some time ago, I ran across a sim owner(this is how I will identify them) that on the surface seemed nice, but I felt something was not right. During these brief interactions, sensations would come over me (physically). My shoulders felt heavy, I felt this intense restriction in my ability to voice my opinion. I felt I was being silenced. This intense urge to try to be "in" with this person kept growing. I have never desired to be "in" with the popular crowd, but somehow I felt like this was High School all over again. This happened every single time I was around this sim owner and their group of friends.

"The elitist, snobby, oppressive nature of this sim owner had finally gotten to me."

Speaking in the group for this particular sim was absolutely forbidden if you did not want to be hounded by the ass kissers that gawked and followed this sim owner continuously. While at this sim I met a guy and he quickly became my friend. Our intellect matched perfectly and for awhile I was afraid to express how I felt about the "sim owner" to him.

One day, after growing tired of being oppressed(really that is the only word I have for it) I decided to tell my friend my real feelings about the "sim owner". The elitist, snobby, oppressive nature of this sim owner had finally gotten to me. After belting out my concerns to my friend, he confirmed my suspicions. He had felt the same energy I had felt. The moment he told me about his interactions with this sim owner and how they behaved with him versus their friends, I knew I was not alone.

In that moment I had tapped into the "obscurity" of Second Life. This "energetic awareness" I now call it is very real. Being very aware of energy in Real Life, this ability has served me quite well in Second Life.

"When your avatars are in the same proximity close enough to be visible, you can sense their disposition."

When it comes to your digital representative (avatar), and regardless if you are aware of it or not, your avatar can beam an energetic signature. Same as in Real Life where you can sense energy, you can do that in Second Life as well. Physical sensations occur during that one on one, some can feel it, some cannot. Ex: The chat box is similar to a phone call, providing some distance between you and the other person. When your avatars are in the same proximity close enough to be visible, you can sense their disposition.

"Those are the ones who have deep seeded mental blockages to life in general and are losing out on what can definitely be a great learning experience."

Be weary of those who try to "dumb down" this platform for human interaction into just a "game". Those kind of people have this incessant desire to get you to believe this "game" does not matter and everything here is "unimpressive". Those are the ones who have deep seeded mental blockages to life in general and are losing out on what can definitely be a great learning experience.


They are in total denial of the impact Second Life can have on an individual. Acknowledgement of the energetic influences Second Life can have may prevent you from becoming a disgruntled user who perpetuates the cycle of negativity. Being "in tune" with how you feel when you meet a person can help you to avoid what can quickly become a poisonous friendship or relationship.


I have to admit, I felt negative energy from my ex-partner, and I (knowing damn well what I was getting into) ignored it, quieting my own intuition and therefore went through intense amounts of stress of being stalked and harassed. You have intuition and energetic awareness to protect you. It is also there to attract only those that line-up with your morals and values (but that subject is for another post wink wink).


Any questions feel free to message me in-world:
BayBeeBella Resident

              &

Check out my Flickr!

He finds me at my apartment, I back away from his approach. Standing on the stairs, towering over him. He says he needs a hug. Constantly backing way from him, his approach creating tension, fear grips me. I rarely give into hate, but I hate him right now and in the middle of reluctantly accepting his "hug",

No one gives a shit about all you write on your blog, they just want to see your pictures and your body. They are not interested in anything else. 

 /50stop! (get yo' muthafuckin' hands offa me)

Searching for the truth, he never once sought out a way to prove to me all he has told me. Six Months and never once did I ask him for a single dime of his "money". If a man loves you, he will give openly. There should be a desire within him to do for you as his woman. Everything I got, I paid for it myself. (flashback)There is all of two outfits from him in my inventory, and one of them he also bought for his "pet". Even coerced me to a club where she was and she was wearing it. (I just facepalmed and left.)


As he continued to degrade my love for him to dollars and cents, I became infuriated at his accusations. In that moment I knew I had settled for a "Prince" instead of a King. (cause clearly I'm a Queen)
It always starts off nice and easy...

♬ Cue in- Jill Scott- Some Other Time(play it right now!)

11 days of freedom and I refuse to go back to that. For Six Months I quieted my spirit of discernment. He was definitely that snake in the grass, who was deceptively hiding in my bed, under my sheets, calling me his Bitch with a bite behind it. The kind of bite that makes you rear your head back. Venomous. Deadly. He towered over me and told me I was his... That he owned me. I can never be owned. (who you bought me from? Slavery over boy!)  I knew I needed a real man (maybe I went to far out of my ethnic group to get this), one who could identify with my struggles as a woman (native american, black mixed woman at that), not perpetuate a struggle I have been trying to overcome my entire existence. The desire to stand up to male oppressors. Always give things time. My love is real. I love deep. But don't ever expect deep love from a shallow person. 

"No Drama" I see it everywhere, from signs posted at clubs to people's profiles. What does it mean? You have "No Drama"? or You desire to have "No Drama"? It seems to me as if those who utilize that song title from Mary J. Blige are trying to convince more so themselves that they have "No Drama". The hardcore truth is if they have people on their list, a best friend or a lover/partner then they have some kind of exposure to drama.

Whatever baggage your lover or best friend carries soon becomes yours

The moment you partner someone or acquire a best friend (your partner should be your best friend to some degree) they become a portal for drama. Whatever baggage your lover or best friend carries soon becomes yours, sorry folks, but that includes their drama too. Not a single person is drama free in SL, unless you block everyone. Isolation=No Drama

If you really embody the qualities of a "Bad Bitch", you would exemplify(demonstrate) them, not verbalize them

This "No Drama" trend is synonymous to those females touting the pick or tag, "Bad Bitch". Why would one feel the need to say they are? What are you trying to prove to everyone? If you really embody the qualities of a "Bad Bitch", you would exemplify(demonstrate) them, not verbalize them.
It seems to me that those who tout the title or profile pick of "No Drama" and/or "Bad Bitch" are only in the process of convincing themselves (cause they ain't foolin' nobody).

would be better off putting "No Conferences" 

In conclusion, those sporting "No Drama" tags would be better off putting "No Conferences" since (from my experiences) is where most of the drama stems from or is created. "No Drama" is a flat out myth. For women to tote it around in their profile, like an accessory, that somehow makes them more appealing to a male (and vice versa, no way is this just about women doing this) is pure absurdity.

Like all of sudden you have on this "shield" that protects you from drama

 Just as somehow putting it in the profile makes you Drama Proof. Like all of sudden you have on this "shield" that protects you from drama.   It's almost like they are telling on themselves in a twisted way.  Your mental capacity and discernment keeps you drama free. Your ability to keep track of red flags and trigger words keeps you drama free. The ones touting the "No Drama" myth around are most likely in the middle of a shit load of drama and don't even have a clue, but they steady rockin' that "No Drama" tag. (LMAO)


Wooo that was work... untwisting a twisted world is never easy...
Enjoy.

"Never become bitter," a good friend tells me over the phone.(she said this years ago).  Those word ringing loudly in my ears as I guzzle the Hennessy in my crystal rocks glass. I knew it was the best advice she could ever give me. I knew I would be needing it. Today is that day. From the hidden apartments and pets he had claimed to have given up. I realized today I had allowed myself to settle.

We rarely ask ourselves in the beginning of a relationship what exactly we are willing to give up. We never contemplate what choices we allow them to have and how those "perks" can set you up for failure. I let him keep one pet (one of four). I drilled her over dinner on Valentine's Day (which was also the moment he partnered me) and I wanted to see if she was "real". The tragedy was realizing I was partnered but still alone and my fear was of him being alone if I had to leave Second Life(due to RL responsibilities), not of myself being alone.

From the blatant disrespect of posting photos of "us" (me, him and her) claiming to be the "happiest man in the world," to the mistake his pet made at dinner in local chat that he tried to cover up with chat spam. I had allowed things to fester and it made my stomach turn every time I logged in. My mind racing through all the "red flags" I had ignored.(red flags: things that tip me off about someone or a situation) There were so many red flags, I was covered in them (you could see me down the street at night) and I kept believing this person was good for me.

What else could he be fraudulent about? His money? His status? That Jimmy Choo purse he was so eager to send me during Christmas? That $100,000 car he claim he drives in RL? I believed most of it. But, I knew the truth would surface eventually.

This is not a "tell-all" blog post. Just a venting. Just a warning. 

The energy coming through the computer would consume me at times and leave me drained. I knew things were going haywire when I could not relax to even enjoy my own vibrator with him. The voice that came through the phone was distant. Emotionally distant. No love there for me. No connection. Void. Physical triggers let me know of the corrupt energy on the other side of this "connection". The tightness in my throat, the tense shoulders and feeling dazed. Not by love. but by control.

If there is a "she", I feel bad for her. This is not a "tell-all" blog post. Just a venting. Just a warning.
For six months I put up with an argumentative Scorpio male. An accuser that worried some other man was interested in me, but also an absent man. Covered in empty promises and pipe dreams.

I know exactly what she is getting...

Even when things are all done and said with, I know what "she" is getting herself into. It's all an elaborate trap disguised as Love. No matter the person, she will know what I know, but I hope it does not cost her too much. She will know of the baggage he carries and the inconsistencies I have witnessed. I know exactly what she is getting. She just does not know what she is asking for.
 She does not win, she inherits a problem I have already conquered.

October 2015-March 17th 2016. We had an amazing run. Longer than most. But he never deserved me. He just attached to my vibrant energy and now, I get that back. I get all of ME back. I had given up so many morals to "accept" this person. It cost me some time, but I got the chance to learn something. I learned that people with baggage will never sort it out for another person. They have to want to do that for themselves.

That final lie is all they got left... it's their ACE. It's their last hope to hurt the invincible person they claim they fell in love with...

When there is no room for you in their lives, they have to take the first opportunity out. The final lie, a very unbelievable story of an ex-girlfriend who works at Linden Labs hacking his account. It was the perfect opportunity to cancel the most amazing wedding ever planned, to change my name back, clear my partner box and for me "that diamond in a coal mine" to slip through his fingers.

Up until now my blog has been pretty damn focused on Locations and my Experiences at those locations, but today I have decided to offer more than just that. I would like to introduce: 💬Snipets💬

This new section of my blog is about my personal experiences within Second Life, (which technically is still Digital Exploration). This section will maybe offer a little perspective to those out there who may be facing the same situations. Some of my friends give me advice on the regular and out of respect to them they will remain anonymous, but their words of advice ring true to me and may ring true to you as well.


I am not too good at being "pithy" but I will try. I will waddle my way through the murky waters of  trying to unravel the psychological arrangement of those I have come in contact with in Second Life. From my own failed relationships to debunking the "No Drama" expression, I will try to cover all bases within these 💬Snipets💬. 

My hope is that those who visit here will join in on the conversation, all positive input  and advice is welcomed. (negative comments, nastiness or just rudeness will not be tolerated, I am sure there are tons of forums you can go to for that)
I've grown a tremendous amount in the last six months of being back in Second Life. From heartbreaks to epiphanies, I am still here, still exploring. Still writing. And through everything, the good, the bad and the ugly, I write. It's how I survive.